When tipping stops feeling like gratitude 

I ordered a coffee the other morning. Just a regular coffee, no syrups, no steamed milk. I got ready to pay at the counter, and before I could blink, the screen spun towards me with a prompt that read 15%, 20%, and 25%. For pouring coffee into a paper cup. I know service work is hard. But what exactly am I tipping for here? The smiling silence? The simple act of handing over my coffee? 

Tipping in Canada has expanded beyond its original purpose. It is an expectation in nearly every service interaction, from ordering a latte to getting a ride home. What was once an expression of thanks has become a substitute for fair wages, and it’s reshaping the way Canadians experience everyday service. 

To understand how tipping got so out of control, it helps to look at where it started. Tipping didn’t originate in North America. It began in 17th-century Europe, where wealthy travellers gave small coins, called Vials, to servants as a token of appreciation. This idea was to show class and generosity. 

When it made its way across the Atlantic, it wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms. Some newspapers called it unfair and a leftover idea from Europe, and honestly, they may have had a point.

But tipping caught on, especially in the restaurant industry. By the mid-1900s, it became normal for waiters and servers to rely on tips as part of their income. 

Fast forward to today, and technology has taken tipping to a whole new level. With touchscreens and payment apps everywhere, it’s never been easier to ask for a tip or harder to say no. Sometimes you’re asked before the service even happens. And when the person behind the counter is watching you tap “no tip,” it can feel like you’ve committed a minor crime.

There’s even a word for it: “tipflation.” The trend of seeing tipping prompts pop up in more places and with higher suggested amounts. 10% used to be fine. 15% was generous. Now, 20% or 25% seems to be the default, even for basic things like grabbing a pre-made salad or a takeout burrito. 

And Canadians are feeling the strain. Surveys show how 94% of Canadians feel tipping has gone too far, and 25% admit that they tip out of guilt or social pressure.

Meanwhile, other countries play by different rules. In Japan and South Korea, tipping is rare and actually frowned upon. It implies that the workers need a bribe to do their job well. In much of Europe, a small service fee is included in the bill, with any additional gratuity truly optional.

Here in North America, however, the system places the responsibility of the worker’s income on the customer. On top of that, keeping up with these tipping demands can be hard on people’s budgets, making everyday tasks like grabbing a coffee or picking up food feel stressful and uncomfortable.

Part of the issue is that tipping has quietly become a loophole for businesses to avoid paying fair wages. Instead of raising prices and paying staff properly, they keep wages low and hope tips will cover the gap.

As Priscilla Deo, owner of Folke Restaurant, puts it, “It’s not our customers’ responsibility to pay our staff properly. … It’s our responsibility to make sure that our staff are taken care of.” She eliminated tipping at her restaurant and instead pays her employees a fair wage. It’s a bold move that puts the responsibility where it belongs: on the employer. “It was really important to us to have an inclusive work environment where everyone was compensated fairly,” she explained in an interview with the CBC.

For workers, the current system is a rollercoaster. Some shifts are great; others, not so much. Tips vary wildly depending on the time of day, the customer’s mood, or even factors as unfair as someone’s age, gender, race, or appearance. A worker can bust their tail all day and still leave with less than they deserve.

For customers, tipping is confusing and uncomfortable. What used to be a quick purchase now involves a tiny moral crisis. Saying “no” can feel rude or awkward, especially when the worker is right there.

For many, tipping isn’t about saying thanks anymore; it’s more like a social obligation. Workers rely on it, and customers feel pressured to pay up. It’s a messy situation tied to bigger problems, like low wages and an unfair system.

But this doesn’t have to be the way. If other countries have figured out how to run restaurants and services without depending so much on tips, why can’t we? Why do we keep clinging to a system that clearly isn’t working?

Maybe it’s time we stop accepting this system just because it’s familiar. Things need to change. Workers deserve fair pay, without relying on tips to get there. That means businesses need to take responsibility, and governments need to set better rules that make fair wages the standard.

Gratitude should never feel like guilt. And until we fix the root of the problem, we have the right to hold back. 

Image credit: Flickr