Inadequacies

Facing an impenetrable wall,
Not with empty thoughts, but bursting with inadequacies.
My mind doesn’t wander, it only runs and hides,
And it’s my intention, my creation, my fault.

Not with empty thoughts, but bursting with inadequacies.
The drum of fingers, like the approaching of a distant army,
And it’s my intention, my creation, my fault
As the counterfeit frost sets in.

The drum of fingers, like the approaching of a distant army,
And I am defenceless and vulnerable.
The counterfeit frost sets in,
Frozen as a block of ice.

I am defenceless and vulnerable.
My mind doesn’t wander, it only runs and hides.
I sit, frozen as a block of ice,
Facing an impenetrable wall.

Writer’s Note:

This poem is a pantoum, which is a form involving a lot of repetition. It uses the pattern ABCD BEDF EGFH GCHA. While the abundance of repetition does mean that you have to write half as many lines as you normally would, it’s also rather challenging to write something this way that makes any sort of sense. I chose this particular form because I wanted there to be some kind of structure to it, and because this style is more rigid and unrelenting, which I thought would go well with the whole mood of the poem. This amount of repetition can also make you feel like you’re going around in circles, and the frustration that comes along with that seemed rather fitting.

 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY BITTERMELON